Fall did not quietly sneak itself into the lineup of seasons here in Colorado, turning the air crisp overnight and leaving white girls excitedly standing in line at Starbucks for their pumpkin spice lattes the following morning.
After years of being with me, she decided she no longer needed to play it so cool and coy.
Hard to get? She’s SO done with that. There were no cool days scattered here and there to keep me on my toes, wondering when she’d show up for good so I could finally unpack my sweaters and boots.
She’s making it clear that these are going to be the ugly, raw years of our relationship. This is when she gets to stop shaving, wearing makeup and exercising. Perhaps it’s a test of our love.
Is it because I moved away? Can she not handle long distance? Because, arguably, I’m much closer to her now. Though, maybe she realizes how hard she has to compete with winter since my move…
But it still doesn’t make sense. She knew I had quintessential Colorado plans to celebrate her first full weekend: A drive along Peak to Peak Highway so I could enjoy her colorful foliage — one of her best qualities, in my opinion.
I guess she didn’t want to make it so easy for me this time.
Rather than quietly slipping herself into my world, she entered obstreperously, bringing gray, gloomy days; weather that barely touched the 60-degree mark; and a misting drizzle that’s hung in the sky all weekend.
Despite her mood, I still went looking for what we’ve always had: an innocent relationship fueled by evanescent passion.
I set out to find that spark again.
And I’m glad I held on for us because, out there on the highway, I found that our spark is more than that. It’s a deep flame with glowing embers that burn on even when we think the fire has died.
Maybe it’s what she hoped I’d find all along.
That, for a touch of brightness, a bit of sunshine, our relationship is always worth the bad times. More importantly, it’s always worth the wait.
Even the walls of her seemingly impenetrable fortresses can be broken down with time and patience. Throughout it all, there’s beauty even when she’s at her lowest.
If I just try hard enough, she’ll slowly let down her barriers.
She’ll open up to me — about her insecurities, fears and most private thoughts. Best of all, she’ll let me enjoy her grand beauty in the best of lights.
I think she’s done with our ephemeral love. She sent me on this journey so I knew it was time to plant some roots.
I want her to know that I already have, long ago. Though we spend such limited time together, she’s in my heart all year long.
While I’m not always to sensitive to her feelings and share her cozy clothes, roaring fires and favorite holidays with winter, I keep what’s most special just for us — warmed cider, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, the best hikes.
When it comes to winter, there’s no competition. In reality, I’m only letting her memory live on for as long as possible, lingering and lingering until I have to say farewell and wait another year.
Despite all her efforts, a little rain will never stop me or our unyielding love.